Why ‘the worst year’?
The year 2012 began a mere 17 days after the death of my father. Thus began the worst year of my life. Or perhaps my worst year began on 15 Dec. 2011. Whatever way I do the math, it has been about nine months since the year began, which means it is, at last, mostly over.
In that time, I’ve continued my life as a woman, a sister, a (grand-)daughter, an aunt, a friend, an adjunct professor, a graduate student, a research assistant, a big city dweller, a book lover, a traveler, an aspiring runner, and the myriad other persons I am. I’ve struggled to wake up in the morning, and stayed out until the sun rose the next day. I’ve given people up and leaned heavily on others for help. The year to date has been the hardest of my life, even if it hasn’t all been bad.
As the year goes on, and quickly comes full circle to that dreadful date I foresee being a day of tears for years to come, the struggle continues. In the months that follow, I will face my future and possibly my death in a way that most people could never even imagine. I will also undergo the next level of examinations in my doctoral program, which require much preparation and the dreaded ‘speaking in front of a crowd’ that still makes my knees shake, even after 2 years of teaching. The combination of these oh-so-important events/actions with my life as usual means that the rest of this worst year ever will continue to challenge me in ways I need to face in order to make it through in one piece.
Wish me luck.